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  1. A Rebuke of “Extreme Cheapskates”

    January 21, 2013 by 25hoursadaymom

    I’m pretty well-established as a frugal person. I am almost as sad that Amy Dacyczyn retired from writing The Tightwad Gazette as I am that JK Rowling has no intention of taking us through anymore wizarding adventures. So, upon hearing that there was now a show called Extreme Cheapskates airing on TLC*, my interest was piqued. What odd things are today’s tightwads doing to save a dime that I hadn’t yet discovered?  I watched one forgettable episode last year and then watched it again last night.

    When I watched the first episode, I thought they were just having a little fun by featuring a couple of really odd cheapskates. There was the dumpster-diving man who found a “perfectly good” wilted rose to give his wife for their 25-year wedding anniversary. He also picked up a box of animal crackers and a “squeezie” doll – a rubber toy you squeeze to release stress. These were at the dollar store if I recall correctly.  They also featured Jeff Yeager, a cheapskate I already know of, as he wrote The Ultimate Cheapskate and a sequel of a similar name. I have read those books and enjoyed them; found them filled with interesting ideas and good, sound strategies for spending less. Yet on the TV show, they cartoonify him by watching him purchase a goat head to make for dinner for something like seven bucks in change he fished out around a pay phone.  I do believe that Jeff Yeager may indeed make goat head for dinner; I heard or read somewhere that he says his food choices “tend toward the offal.” (Or is it ‘awful’?) However, even if he does eat goat heads at times, it annoys me that this is what they feature on the show.

    Last night I watched the show again and realized hey are, indeed, trying to feature the most extreme (hence the name, I guess) ways a person or family could possibly save money. Not necessarily the best way to save money. Not the best way to achieve value by spending little or no money. Just the MOST extreme ways. Such a disappointment from the useful, informative TV show it could be.

    The show last night featured a large family (5 kids at home, 10 altogether) that goes out looking for usable road kill. They come upon a nice, fresh bunny, which they supposedly make into a fried rabbit dinner. They also foraged a “salad” of weeds and leaves.  They invited their neighbors to share in their bounty.  Frugal Mama cuts up the bunny pelt and the feet to make four “lucky” rabbit’s feet for the boys and some little fur purses for the girls. They don’t really show anyone eating this strange meal, but there’s another questionable matter involved: How could one road-kill rabbit possibly feed even one family, let alone guests? Additionally, the little purses were actually pretty impressive, but the larger purse she gave to the neighbor mother could not possibly have come from the rabbit. It was pretty close to the size of a regular purse. It looked like cow hide, but they didn’t explain that.  Something is very fishy with the whole deal.

    It is possible that the family does actually go look for road kill to eat and make gifts, plus forage for weed salad. I’ve heard of stranger things (such as this guy, who has lived a scavenging lifestyle for going on 13 years now – he takes and uses no money whatsoever). Still, I find myself very annoyed that TLC is using this show for nothing but gawking, aren’t-they-too-ridiculous “entertainment.” They could feature people making a delicious dinner to share with their neighbors, showing us how to delightfully entertain and care for others while spending little. Home-baked bread is inexpensive and delicious. So is homemade soup. If you garden, you can make a “free” salad (at least seasonally) that could be made up of lettuce, cucumbers, apples, berries, carrots, and tomatoes – you know, food people have heard of eating. In the summer, I forage blackberries on our property and make an inexpensive and tasty blackberry cobbler. I have shared this with guests before. They don’t run from the room on the verge of vomiting from my low-cost food, like was displayed on the TV show last night.

    If you’re thinking of embracing frugality, don’t look to the show Extreme Cheapskates for inspiration (although there were a few worthwhile tips sprinkled in there).  Most everything there is weirdness, which frugal living definitely does not have to be. On the other hand, if you’re brain-dead from a busy day and just want to laugh at people for their oddities, it couldn’t hurt to watch the show. It’s cheaper than taking a sleeping pill.

     

    -Danielle

     

    *The episode I watched last night may have aired on Discovery Health Channel, although I believe the  show is owned by The Learning Channel. What this has to do with Health or Learning, in any case, is anyone’s guess.

    Category Finances, Food/Cooking, Television | Tags: , , , , , , , | No Comments

  2. Remove Your Clothes

    January 8, 2013 by 25hoursadaymom

    Some of you may recall the post I wrote in response to Jen Hatmaker’s book, 7.  Overall, I found it thought-provoking and interesting, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why the chapter on Clothing bothered me.  In the book, she focused on one of seven areas to reduce to seven items for a month. For the clothing month, she chose seven articles of clothing to wear exclusively. I don’t remember exactly what she chose, but it was something like a black t-shirt, a pair of jeans, a skirt, cowboy boots, a short-sleeved shirt and I don’t recall the other two. (Underwear and socks were not part of the deal.)

    I think I’ve finally identified what it was that I didn’t like about that chapter. Choosing seven articles of clothing is, obviously, an extreme reduction for most first-world people. But cutting clothing down to seven pieces for a month doesn’t amount to anything meaningful if, at the end of the month, you simply revert to your previous clothing assortment.  If I recall correctly, Hatmaker did also cull and donate a lot of her clothing during her experiment, so it wouldn’t be fair to say it made no difference, but I admit I felt like there was no point swearing off clothing for a month if you’re just going to spring right back to a “normal” array of clothing like most westerners have. I wanted her to suffer, damn it!

    Just kidding.

    Kind of.

    I recently stumbled upon something called Project 333. That’s more like it! With Project 333, you choose 33 articles of clothing you will use exclusively for 3 months. I would piggy-back on that and say while you’re at it, get rid of nearly everything else for the current season that you didn’t select for the Project. Chances are good that you don’t need it. Then, when the 3 months are over and you move into the next season, repeat the procedure.

    If you’re a virgin to removing your clothing, you might not be able to start something like Project 333 right off the bat. First, go through closets and drawers and remove all the obvious unwanted or unneeded clothing – doesn’t fit, isn’t in style, never really liked it to begin with, Aunt Maude gave it to me, needs repair but I’m too lazy, doesn’t suit my life.  Once you’ve gotten rid of the clear losers, perhaps wait a few weeks or a month before you do the second culling. This involves getting rid of clothing that you could use, though you rarely do, that is nice, but is not your first choice. These can be much tougher to part with. Remember, though, you’re not giving away your first born; it’s just a sweater, for God’s sake! Naked into the world we came and naked will we leave. In between, a black t-shirt will be fine.

    I’ve been thinking about clothing and simplified living for several months. It’s been pecking at the back of my mind. For one thing, although I am a girl, I really hate shopping for clothing. I don’t want to look at 10,000 things, I just want to walk in, find a white shirt, pay for it and leave.  Most girl stores intimidate me. The assortment is endless. I dodge well-meaning sales help. It can’t be expensive, dry-clean-only, busy, fragile, low-cut or one of those tops you can only wear with another top underneath. (What’s up with that, anyway?) God knows, it can NOT be itchy! Soft is crucial.  I bought a sweater just before New Year’s at J.Jill. I thought it met my criteria, especially since it was half-price. Only once I tried to wear it, it felt like nine hundred ants were crawling around under it. That itchy beast is going back!

    I ordered a black t-shirt from Lands End today, on-line. Ahhh. No stores. No racks. Just click, type in coupon code and voila! Simple shirt on the way. I also have confidence because I have already bought t-shirts from Lands End. They are great staples. And since I’m going to be paring down to staples, that will be a very good thing.

     

    -Danielle

    Category Clothing, Clutter, Organizing, Self-Discipline | Tags: , , , , , , | 2 Comments

  3. Dinner Will Be Late

    November 4, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    A few months ago, I mentioned Exhibit A – a person in my life who thinks the children should not do work in the home. Unsurprisingly, there are other philosophical differences between myself and Exhibit A, a fact that was recently brought to my attention when E.A. harassed me…err…I mean, mentioned to me that I should have dinner ready for Miss Magnificent at 5:30, presumably moments after she gets home from soccer practice.  Well, now, for starters, this is logistically impossible. I am her ride home from soccer practice, which means that it would be rather difficult to stir-fry chicken while I’m on Marriottsville Road. Besides that, I’m at college two nights a week at that time.  If those two reasons are not enough, I also have two other children and one other parent who are leaving for soccer just as Miss Magnificent is arriving home.

    One rarity that I have gone to great lengths to preserve in my family is a family dinner.  Yep, that’s right. Five people sitting at a table in the actual Dining Room, eating off of ceramic plates and not drinking Coke. Also talking, laughing and being nourished, body and soul. We eat family dinners together the great majority of  the time – a practice I fiercely protect. But, let’s face it – this is hard to do with modern schedules.  I can appreciate the fact that there are some family structures where it is literally impossible more often than not.  However, for many, it’s more a matter of not considering it important and therefore, willingly relinquishing the quaint family meal.

    Since I do consider it important, though hard, this means dinner will be late.  Some nights, by most people’s standards, we eat absurdly late. 8:00. Nine, even. On the weekends, when our evenings are unencumbered by sports and activities, I still have not the slightest desire to get dinner going before perhaps 7:00.  I don’t like having to get busy cooking early, only to have this dead spot of inactivity between dinner and bed-time routines. Besides all that, if I eat so early, I just get the munchies by 9:00 and ruin my diet.

    So – that’s how I do it.  I honestly have no idea how families can eat at 5:00 or 5:30 if they do have kids in any activities or how this works with work obligations. I guess this is why so many eat fast food or non-meal foods, and why the notion of the family meal seems so antiquated nowadays.

    My friend, E.A. never did relinquish her view that I am simply wrong and dinner “must” be served well before 6:00.  I’m not really a fighter (well, I just passive-agressively prove her wrong on my blog), so I didn’t go far to convince her that my way is perfectly fine, but…it is. I’ve heard that most Europeans think Americans eat dinner absurdly early, so maybe I’m just having a flare-up of my European ancestry. I will not let my precious family dinners die out without a good, hard fight, so I’m doing it come hell or by crockpot, even if that means the kids can have Nutrigrain bars at 5:00 to tide them over until the pork chops can be ready.

     

    -Danielle

    Category Children, Food/Cooking, Organizing | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

  4. How to Can Tomatoes Without a Pressure Canner

    August 24, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    Perhaps you’ve gone all self-sufficient and put in a garden. Since growing tomatoes is fairly idiot-proof, perhaps you now have tomatoes out the wazoo. You reflect back to your grandmother’s basement and recall shelves filled with home-canned tomatoes in Mason jars. Being a member of the iPod and www. generation, however, you haven’t a bloomin’ clue how one achieves shelves filled with home-canned tomatoes. Grandma also may have had a pressure-canner and you’re pretty sure you’d be out of your game operating one of those, if you even had one to begin with. (This isn’t true of course; you can easily learn to use a pressure canner, but I’m going to let you off the hook for tomatoes, because it isn’t necessary.) Home-canning tomatoes is easy, albeit time-consuming. If you want to preserve all your beautiful tomatoes, but you don’t want to mess with the pressure canner, here’s how to do it:

    1. Pick a bunch of your tomatoes. They do not have to be totally flawless, but don’t use any that are actually rotting. If they have cracks at the top or a little place where a bug sampled, no biggie; you can just cut that part off.

    2. Prepare the area where you want to can. You will need: Quart-sized Mason Jars, Lids that fit those jars, a wide-mouth funnel, at least one large stockpot, another pot for boiling the jars, slotted spoon, non-slotted spoon, tongs for lifting the lids, potholders, towels, knives, salt, pepper and several free hours. An apron is handy, too.

    3. Clean and/or sterilize jars and lids; clean the tomatoes and line them up near your stove.

    4. Bring one or two stockpots of water to a boil. This is to split the skin of the tomatoes. I use a clean sink to put the tomatoes in as they split.

    5. Once the water is boiling, use a slotted spoon to lower 3-5 tomatoes into each boiling pot of water. Within a minute or two, the skin of the tomato will split. Remove the split tomato to the sink or a large bin. They should look like this:

     

    6. Once all the tomato skins have been split, I empty my stockpots, clean them and begin chopping the tomatoes. I peel off the skin and cut away the core and any bad spots. I fill the now-clean stockpot with my chopped tomatoes. Occasionally, I sweep the juice and pulp off the cutting board and throw that into the pot as well. (I usually use a couple of large bowls in addition to the stockpot, because I am processing a lot at once.) I have heard that you can skip this step and just puree the tomatoes, but I aim for chopped tomatoes, not crushed.

    7. I bring my full stockpot of tomatoes to a boil on the stove. Simultaneously, I bring some water to boil in a skillet and boil 3 jars and their lids. The lids, jars and tomatoes all need to be boiling hot in order to kill bacteria and create the vacuum seal. This is what we’re doing instead of pressure-canning all the jars, so make sure you get everything very hot! My set-up at this point looks like this:

    8. Once everything is hot and boiling, I use a pot-holder to quickly remove a jar, set it on the counter next to my tomato pot, fit it with the wide-mouthed funnel, and add the tomatoes with a large spoon. This is messy as heck and I’ve never figured out how to do this without dripping and splashing juice all over kingdom come. I keep towels on the counter and the floor, but just know that even an OCD neat-freak cannot figure out how to do this without making a colossal mess, so you may not be able to, either.

    9. Fill the jar to within an inch of the top. Put in a half teaspoon of salt and pepper, if that’s your thing, then quickly use tongs to retrieve a lid from the boiling skillet. Use a towel to screw down the lid without burning yourself; move the jar to another counter.

    10. As the counter fills with tomato jars, you should hear the “PLINK!” as the lids vacuum seal from their own heat. You can also observe the lid; there is a small “button” in the center of the lid. Once the lid seals, this “button” sucks inward. If it still has give to it, it is not sealed.  My jars usually seal within probably five minutes of placing the lid on them.

    Now – here is my General Disclaimer: I learned to can tomatoes this way from my mother-in-law, who has canned tomatoes for 60-some years. Rarely, the seal fails and the tomatoes rot. I have read in recent years that the Ball-Mason company no longer considers this a valid method of canning, because you cannot be certain the temperature was high enough for long enough to kill bacteria. So, if you are sub-mental and cannot tell that a brown jar of tomatoes has gone south and should not be eaten, perhaps this is not a good method for you. If you contract Botulism, don’t come cryin’ to me.

    When I have canned tomatoes, I leave them on the counter overnight. In the morning, I take off the outer rings and attempt to pry off the lid with my fingers. If it is vacuum-sealed, this will not work. If the lid comes off, obviously, it failed to seal. I also usually leave the jars on my counter for a week or so, because if any did not seal, it will be apparent within a few days and I’d rather discover that on the kitchen counter than after it’s in my pantry. This has happened to me, so it is possible that they will not seal using this method. You must make sure the jars, lids and tomatoes have all boiled very hot for at least a few minutes. Common sense also dictates that you observe them for a little while to be sure they do not look like they are going bad.

    At the end of this process, you will also have a sink full of skins, cores and other refuse. Compost! If you compost, this is a perfect addition. Then next year, your garden will be nourished by this year’s garden. Isn’t that poetic?

    So, the question I’ve been asked before: Is this worth it? I mean, come on! I can go to Costco today and by dozens of canned tomatoes without batting an eye! Why do this?

    1. These tomatoes are organically raised in my very own backyard. No fuel was burned shipping them all over the country (or countries) to get them to me. They have not been sprayed with pesticides, fungicides or ripening sprays.

    2. Some of my jars have been reused for 40 years, as they were my mother-in-law’s. This is the most environmentally-friendly way to preserve food. It is superior to recycling the Costco can, and definitely superior to throwing a can in a landfill.

    3. My children witness the connection between the food they eat and where it comes from.

    4. This is my MAIN reason: It is the epitome of self-sufficiency. Raising food yourself, preserving it yourself and then using it to cook your own meals is very fulfilling. It is comforting to know you’re not a sitting duck who would be lost without your Costco card and American Express.

    I’m well aware that this is not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes I do wonder why I bother. But in the end, I simply cannot bear to watch a bounty of tomatoes sitting to rot, knowing I have the tools and ability to preserve them for later. I will use them in my Chili recipe and my Sloppy Joe recipe throughout the winter.  Each time I pull a jar out in January, it makes me smile that I have that there, a loving little symbol of ingenuity.

    -Danielle

     

    Category Food/Cooking | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

  5. Homeschooling: Fantasy vs. Reality

    August 7, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    I have the good fortune of having a “bonus” room in my house, which I currently use for our homeschooling “schoolroom.” (Though you need to lose any idea that we pledge the flag at the back of the room and line up to use the water fountain.) This time of year, I am getting my new curriculum for the upcoming year and organizing it and cleaning up the schoolroom.  In my fantasy, it looks pretty much like this:

    Homeschool Room Fantasy Homeschool Room FantasyHomeschool Room Fantasy

    It does look like that today, but I bloody well know how reality goes. Want to see what it looked like before I started cleaning and organizing it for this fall?

    Homeschool Reality Homeschool RealityHomeschool Reality

    I’d like to say I staged some of the messy room photos, but I didn’t; it really was just like that when I took the pictures. The reality of homeschooling is that rooms don’t stay terribly neat when there are kids using them several hours a day. (Several hours a day is another point I’m going to get to in a minute.)

    For practical advice, I’ll tell you a little bit about what makes the difference in these pictures. What did I do to make the messy room turn into the fantasy room?

    1. I gave away or sold some of the books and materials that were sitting unused and cluttering up the place.

    2. I set up new binders for the coming year. I placed any summer work they’ve done in the binders.

    3. I put all the new curriculum for this year into their desk drawers or on the bookcases.

    4. I put away anything that was sitting out in the middle of nowhere, like the vacuum cleaner and a dress in a bag. I folded up the craft table and put away all the crafters stuff.  I threw away some old projects, like a large poster board display of Ancient Rome. I had my husband chuck the broken drawer that goes to the crappy toy cabinet. (I would not be sad to burn the whole cabinet, but I’m settling for throwing away the one broken drawer for the time being.)

    5. I took down all the piles of stuff sitting on top of the bookcases and cabinets. I now only have NOEO science boxes on top of one cabinet.

    6. I vacuumed and dusted. In a perfect world, I would buy and hang curtains that would go on the door at the far end. Currently there is a white sheet hanging on them, by thumbtacks. Redneck design ideas for the do-it-yourselfer. I hung the sheet because there are two hamster cages sitting there and I did not want them to fry from the afternoon sun. So I rigged it up. I recognize this is not going to make it into Better Homes and Garden magazine.

    Okay. So – the room you homeschool in can look better, but it’s probably not going to look spotless all the time. If you require that, homeschooling is not your friend. While I’m on a roll, let me just dispatch a few more homeschooling rumors you might have heard. Newbie homeschoolers almost always think these are true. I did.

    1. Homeschooling is so fast and easy, you’ll be done in two hours a day.

    This is a complete myth, except for perhaps Kindergarten and First Grade with one child. Or perhaps if you have one teenaged homeschooler who works well independently. Or if your main aspirations are that your girls learn to sew and make a good meal, which I hope is not the case, but I’ve heard of it, so I’m allowing for the possibility.

    If you have high standards on what you want your kids to learn and you plan to do it through active teaching (i.e., not unschooling), expect to spend several hours a day working directly with your kids. Part of this will depend how well your children work independently, but even if they do, you can’t just hand them a DVD and consider your part done.

    2. The children will be geniuses, simply because they are homeschooled. (AKA: All homeschooled kids are better off than any schooled kid, by virtue of merely being homeschooled.) 

    This is not true, either, and it partly goes with the “work two hours” myth. There are plenty of homeschooled children who are stone cold average and *gasp* some who are below average. Sometimes, there are organic reasons why the children struggle.  Sometimes, the reason is the parents have not taught them. Some parents don’t teach them on purpose, feeling it is better for the children to learn “naturally.” Whatev. I don’t concur. High standards are one reason I homeschool in the first place. If I can’t be bothered, they are better off in school.

    I do think that higher-IQ parents are more likely to homeschool than lower-IQ parents and they are more likely to have bright children genetically. So, that is one factor that explains the brainy homeschooler image. Also, someone who is sacrificing a lot to teach the kids at home usually values academic excellence. This also explains the preponderance of bright homeschooled children. BUT – they are not going to be super-bright simply because they are learning at home instead of school. Sorry. You don’t get something from nothing.

    3. Homeschooled children are always good friends with their siblings.

    Okay, this is not a total myth. I do think being home together, rather than separated in different school classes all day gives kids more opportunity to be close to their siblings. BUT – just like the bright kids thing, this is not an automatically guaranteed outcome. Some children just clash with their siblings. Some parents don’t manage the children well and it surfaces in sibling tension. The bottom line is, it will be work just like any other positive outcome you hope to have.

    So there you go. Three fantasies many new homeschoolers think are true that veteran homeschoolers think are laughable. Four, if you count the fantasy schoolroom. Don’t get me wrong – I love homeschooling and I think it’s a great way of life. But go in with your eyes open. Sooner or later, reality comes to roost.

     

    -Danielle

    Category Children, Cleaning, Clutter, Homeschooling | Tags: , , , , | No Comments

  6. Running Do-Over

    August 3, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    This is an update since my whiny running post, when I thought I would die running ten steps in the heat. I’ve continued running, had my best run yet on Wednesday, (4 miles) and am signing up for a 5K today. I altered a bunch of things, so I want to outline them.

    First, I learned more about eating high protein, lower carb first thing in the morning. I have always been a serious skeptic of all things low-carb, but since something was apparently not working for me in my current diet, I gave that skeptical view more consideration. I truly thought there was not a chance I could eat several hundred calories for breakfast and not watch my weight go up, up, up. Especially because we eat for real dinners, later than you’ve ever heard of unless you hail from Europe.  But I had read a bunch of gobbledegook about the glycemic index and spiking blood sugar and the need for “slow burn” and protein repairing muscles and other jargon and I figured I had nothing to lose; bring on the eggs.

    Turns out eggs (sometimes bacon) early in the morning does appear to produce long-burning energy. At least, in my study of one, I found that since eating my high-protein breakfasts, I have not had another pooped-out, dying-for-a-break run like the one I posted about last.  Not only am I not gaining weight, I am down to my driver’s license weight again, which is pretty much the Holy Grail for me. I’m paying a lot of attention to glycemic index on the whole and my weight is not doing that crazy up-two-pounds, down-one, back-up-three insanity of a couple months ago.

    Second, I’ve been dabbling with running barefoot. Most of my runs have included a portion where I take off my shoes and run around the baseball fields, through the grass and the sand at home plate. I’m playing Kenya runner, I guess. My thoughts on running barefoot is that it is incredibly better than running shod. There’s a technique to it; you don’t just kick off your shoes and beat your heels on the concrete. There’s a type of stride that goes with it, a very joint-friendly, natural gait that is energizing and tactile, especially in the grass and/or sand.

    A lot of people now are running in minimalist shoes or five-fingered shoes to get barefoot-ish runs without the “stepping on sharp stuff” fear.  The jury is out for me on those. I did order a pair of Merrill barefoots from Zappos, but they are not five-fingers and, while I expect I will just plain like them as shoes, I have no idea if they will give me enough of what I love about barefoot running if I do try to wear them for that. We’ll see. For the 5K, I’m planning to run with my regular shoes and socks.

    Third, my dear brother told me about the phone app Map My Run.  This is perfect. Exactly what I needed. There is a huge psychological benefit in getting stats on your run.  Not having any idea if I was making it a mile or two or four or what and with what pacing was very discouraging. The only issue with this right now is that I need an armband for my phone; carrying it in my hand is awkward.

    So, the only thing I’m looking for right now is more variation on what I could eat for breakfast that is high protein and low carb besides eggs. (Also not dairy; I cannot eat dairy.) I did just discover Quinoa and, while I do love my Quinoa with Black Beans, that still is (maybe?) not as much protein as a few eggs/egg whites are. I don’t want to resort to protein shakes or manufactured stuff; I’m looking for straight-up food that is easy to prepare at 7:00 am. I’m open to suggestions.

     

    -Danielle

     

    Category Health | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

  7. The death of a leader – Dr. Stephen Covey

    July 25, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    I was so saddened to hear of the death of Dr. Stephen R. Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. This book was the first personal development-type book I ever read and I still regard it as one of the finest books in its genre of all time.  The only book that ever had more eye-opening impact on my thinking was The Bible.

    I picked up the book a lot of years ago, when I was working as a legal secretary in downtown Baltimore City.  I wandered into a bookstore on my lunch hour, spotted the book and was intrigued. I still recall how revolutionary the very first habit appeared to my early-20′s young self.  Habit One is “Be Proactive.”  Stop acting as though everything and everybody else directs your life. You direct your own life.  It seems very elementary now, but at the time, that was a complete lightbulb moment. Maybe when you’re only 2o years old, you’re still so used to childhood where most things depended on somebody else that some of us are a little late to this epiphany.  That was me – late to the epiphany. But at least I had one!

    I truly began to see that a large amount of what happened in my life was inside of my “circle of influence”; they were things I had power to change. Covey says, “The Circle of Influence is filled with the be’s - I can be more patient, be wise, be loving.  It’s the character focus” (Covey, 1990, p.89). I was in a not-terribly-healthy relationship in my late teens. Covey’s book revealed to me that it wasn’t just how I was treated by That Guy, but how I was allowing That Guy to treat me. My demeanor, my responses, my permission – I invited the behavior I did not like.*  I wish I hadn’t wasted that part of my life, but I’m glad I learned a better way pretty early on.

    The other six habits are certainly worth learning, too. I re-read that book from time to time. One would do well to live with integrity through the additional six habits – Begin with the End in Mind, Put First Things First, Think Win-Win, Seek First to Understand, Synergize and Sharpen the Saw.

    Goodbye Covey. You were an outstanding example of a life well-lived.

    -Danielle

    *Don’t misunderstand this as though I am saying battered women “ask for it.” I was not physically abused by That Guy. But there is an element worth considering here if you’re in a relationship that is unfair and imbalanced.

    Category Book Reviews | Tags: , , , , | No Comments

  8. Running on Empty

    July 18, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    I feel like a loser weakling today, much like I felt two running-days ago. I’ve been keeping up the running, though I started running according to the program in Beginning Runner’s Handbook.  A couple of injuries led me to stop running all-terrain through the woods and to switch to the beautiful Western Regional Park not far from my home. Nicely laid-out asphalt running trails provided courtesy of Howard County deep-pocketed taxpayers. Seriously, that is one incredibly nice park.

    So, I’ve been running in run/walk intervals according to the book and was doing just fine, thankyouverymuch. But I am having a very hard time with 3/1 intervals for 40 minutes.  I have not made it through the whole set successfully yet. I’ve bailed twice now, with about 2 more intervals to go.

    I have no idea why I’m breaking down so early, and by “early” I mean compared to the visions I had of one day sticking a “13.1″ or “26.2″ sticker on my van. I’m already seriously reconsidering the 8k I thought I would run in August with my friend. I’m ready to hurl my Pineapple Smoothie all over the fine Western Regional trail before a marathoner would even break a sweat. It’s very demoralizing.

    Now, although I am running pretty early – 7:00 – 7:30ish – it has been hotter than the seventh stage of the Underworld around here, and I never have been too durable in the heat. So, when I’ve only run 6 intervals and I’m already sweating like a steer at the county fair, it may have something to do with our record-setting heat. But maybe that’s just a lame excuse. I really think it should not be so terrible difficult just to get a few miles under my belt on a regular basis.

    I have already been to the doctor a couple of months ago and everything they checked me for was good. No thyroid problems, no metabolic issues, good hemoglobin scores.  Did they miss something, though? Anemia? Lyme Disease? Or am I just in age denial? Or am I just being a weenie who needs to push a little? I don’t know. But today I feel like a loser non-runner self-deluded slug. Advice appreciated.

     

    -Danielle

    Category Health | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

  9. The Life of a Purse

    July 7, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    I have a friend I’ve taken with me everywhere for over a year now. Her name is Big Betsy and she is a descendant of someone named Vera.  Here is Big Betsy:

     

    Isn’t she cute? I love the shape, cut and size of this purse. I also still love the black-and-white print. I started thinking about getting a new Betsy, in purple, because I like that pattern, too.

    But why, though? I like my current purse just fine. Why do I start to think Betsy is just too darned old and I’ve got to replace her with a younger Betsy? I started to realize what a wasteful way of thinking this was. It is typical western thinking; in fact, some would marvel that I’ve used only that purse for this long.

    Why is it not typical to use things all the way up anymore? I still like everything about the purse, yet still feel some unaccountable urge to replace the purse because it is “old.” I would even buy a purse that is identical in shape and size and different only in color.

    The one complaint I could make that has actual merit is that the straps are worn some in the center, where they go over my shoulder.  However, I can easily see how I would remedy this.  I could cut two pieces of black “leather” fabric and make it like a sleeve that covers and reinforces the center of the strap.  This could even be done such that it appears it was designed that way from the start.

    I’ve been thinking perhaps I’ll just continue to use this purse for a long time into the future.  Sort of just see how much use I can get out of it. I wonder how many women actually do this.

    I recall a conversation with a soccer mom who told me she cleaned out her garage and could not understand how it was that there were about a dozen discarded backpacks in there. “There were all these backpacks in usable condition! I guess we just bought the kids new backpacks each school year without realizing it wasn’t really necessary.”

    That is why I don’t buy new backpacks – or lunchboxes – until I’ve seen a real problem with the current one.  Only my Magnificent daughter has a newer one, which I got her for high school; before then, all of my kids had their original (Target) backpacks and “Arctic Cool” lunch bags. I bought her new one because her old one was torn. I expect her newer one to last at least through high school and perhaps through college.

    The bag I use for college was a diaper bag I bought before we went to Disney in 2005. (Don’t worry; it isn’t lavender with teddy bears on it!) I will admit, I have considered replacing it with a rolling attache or something else that looks more adult. But I do enjoy using something fully, rather than running out to buy new. For the next however-long, I’m still going to be using the red Land’s End backpack (that was a diaper bag). It even has a little padded slot in the back, that was meant for a diaper changing pad, but fits my Macbook, so how perfect is that?

    -Danielle

    Category Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments

  10. Serendipity

    June 18, 2012 by 25hoursadaymom

    It’s weird when things dovetail. When they just fall out of the sky and land joined together, right in your lap. I like it and at the same time, it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up a little.

    I was thinking of doing a book review on here for a great book I recently read called The Power of Story, by Jim Loehr.  This is a fascinating form of self-help (I hate that term), personal growth book. It’s very oriented towards the corporate world, but the application is relevant to anyone.  The gist of the book is that our lives are stories, stories with multiple threads, such as fitness, spiritual life, relationships, work, etc.  The author continues the story metaphor throughout and towards the end, urges you to physically write one or more “new stories” for yourself in whatever area needs a new story. Being a writer, I am intrigued by this form of exercise. And yet, the 240-page book is sitting with a bookmark inserted at page 233, where I balked and hesitated about actually writing a new story or two. It is inexplicably hard to actually write a new story, especially when you know you’re writing it because you plan to make that story yours. The copy sitting on my nightstand is a library copy, due tomorrow, and I’m out of renewals. I think a secret place in me wanted the book to go back before I made myself write a new story.

    So, there I am, ignoring story, even while I’m telling myself in the back of my mind that that’s a great idea, a worthy goal, definitely something I need to do. I stroll into Barnes & Nobel, killing time (and clearly, needing another book to read about as badly as I need a side of bacon, having a wanna-read list as long as my arm and about 6 kindle books in the queue already). I meander over to the Christian section, thinking I want to read Seven Sacred Pauses. I spot a few books by Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz, which I loved.  He has a book out called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, so I flip through and impulsively decide to buy it.

    Here’s where it gets weird. By page 39, Don says this, “…I wondered whether a person could plan a story for his life and live it intentionally.”  What you need to know is that is the exact premise of the book The Power of Story. The exact premise. Don continues to use this story metaphor in speaking about areas of his life he wants to get straightened out. He even has a chapter where he spoke to a friend of his about the story happening in this man’s family and the man abruptly decided to go build an orphanage in Mexico. Helping orphans. There’s a story I’ve had nibbling at the edges of my brain for about 10 years. More serendipity. Totally goes with Jen Hatmaker’s 7 as well.

    Someone Higher Up wants to tell some stories with me, I think. It’s weird and fascinating when coincidences line up this way. I feel like I have a sixth sense turned on, like I’m getting the “feelies” about something about to happen. It makes me excited, even as it scares me to death. I’ve followed these sorts of trails before and they haven’t always gone well. But then, maybe that was just Part I of a good story. I just need the courage to write the rest.

    -Danielle

     

    Category Book Reviews, Spiritual | Tags: , , , , , , , | No Comments

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